Ambition

I haven't posted in a long time, but hoping I have some readers left! I think I've pulled away from posting lately because I've been pondering how much I wanted to share about myself. I like to blog about personal topics because that's what's on my mind. This blog is like my journal, although anyone can read it. I decided I'm fine with putting some of my intimate thoughts and feelings out there in the vast expanse of the internet. So, here we go again:

I've noticed that whenever I have a tough patch in life (a difficult breakup, a disappointing career, another difficult breakup), then I usually respond with some ultra ambitious plan. The pattern of my life goes something like this: graduate school, relationship, breakup, move across country for a new job, relationship, breakup, go to graduate school (again), relationship, breakup, what now?

Now, I haven't gone through a breakup recently, but I have hit a time in my life where I'm so ready for the next big thing. I'm just not sure what it is! If you've read any of my blog, you'll know that I do want to get married. I really want to start my own family. I certainly haven't rushed into this decision (I'm in my 30's now), so I feel ready to find someone who I can love and commit to who is wanting the same thing (loves me and ready to commit). Since I haven't been successful in that area of life so far, I find myself looking to feel progression in other ways. Those other ways usually end up being more education or a career change. I used to be a professional flutist, now I work as a Marketing Manager in a large tech company. That was a big career change.

Since I don't currently have a lot going on in my dating life, I'm looking for my next ambitious project. Here have been a few of my ideas. The first ones are my efforts in dating:

online dating (I hate it. It's so awkward)
Speed dating (a little less awkward than online dating)
Hiring a matchmaker (I did actually do this. No luck yet.)
start a business
learn how to code and write an app
move to Europe and learn french
buy a piano and learn how to play (I did and I am)
take ballroom dance lessons (again)
get a new job
buy a house
start a fashion/style blog (this one's in process- stay tuned!)

I started feeling this ambitious urge at the beginning of this year and so far, all of these things I have either done already, or tried to do, or am in process of doing. I'm all over the place! I'm just trying to figure out what my next big move is going to be. But I have to admit, that at this point in my life, I would love for a great man to come my way. Maybe he could help me focus.